so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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