im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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