gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
