I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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