So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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