Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
