did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
