Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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