I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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