who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize