My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
