He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
