Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
