i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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