are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
