Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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