Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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