She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
