Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
