I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
