dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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