Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize