you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
