nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
