if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize