is your mom at the bar?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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