Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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