I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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