I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize