Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
