I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
