so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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