he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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