we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
