Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
