well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
