marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
