Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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