i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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