chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
