why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize