Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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