have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
two words...techno handjob
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
