So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
