There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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