he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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