I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
