if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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