before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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