upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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