Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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