its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
