capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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