and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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