I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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