did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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