Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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