have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
