Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
