Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I could fuck to npr.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
