he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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