you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
