the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
