Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
