Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My penis needs a shock collar
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
