fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
